It has been almost two months since I ran the Lakefront 50.
I have had two months to process my feelings regarding race day and the season
as a whole. Please note that this might be long, but I truly hope you read it.
This season was such an incredible journey. When I stepped
out in faith to set two big goals, I was scared. I was constantly second
guessing my ability to train my body for 50 miles, and I often feared people
would laugh or scoff when they heard I was trying to raise $20,000. As always,
God put people in my life to reassure me that this was what I was supposed to
be doing in 2017.
Early on in my fundraising, family friends committed to
donating each month to my page. This jumpstarted my belief we could all change
a lot of lives together. For my birthday in April, I had numerous people help
me run and come to my birthday party fundraiser. These two events helped me
believe that raising at least $10,000 was possible for the third year in a row.
A huge fear of mine didn’t have anything to do with race day.
I was simply doubtful I had it in me to actually train properly for a 50 mile
race. I kept looking at different race training plans, and I truly believed
there was no way my body would allow me to log that many miles. Plus, how in
the world would I even find that much time to train?
Thankfully I have incredible friends who also dream big and
have hearts for Africa. As I watched friends train for IronMan, I slowly
convinced myself I could do the same. When I read about people running the
Longest Day Marathon, I was inspired to keep going. Facebook can actually be a pretty motivating platform
JAs I helped lead the
Blaine Group Run, I realized that I could follow my own advice. One run at a
time.
I also have friends who were willing to give up their own
time to help me train. My friend Jen wasn’t even training for a race, but she
ran with me almost every Sunday morning so that I could always have company on
my back to back weekend runs. My friend Holly woke up bright and early many
times so that I could beat the heat or the rain during my long weekday runs. I
had an entire entourage when I completed my 31 mile training run. Plus, that day alone, friends and family
donated almost $1500!!! I seriously have the best people in my life.
The Twin Cities Marathon was another definite destination on
my journey, and it is a day I won’t forget. Simply running to run without any
goal in mind was fantastic. I loved being with Amy, and we even survived the
HORRIBLE weather. My hamstring injury was there, but it wasn’t bad. The best
way I can describe it is by simply saying my hamstring was saying hi. It wasn’t
overly painful, it was just noticeable. When I woke up the next day with only
hamstring pain and zero soreness in any other muscle, I felt confident that I
could truly run a 50 mile race.
And this is where my story took a slight turn. When I woke
up from the Twin Cities marathon without added soreness, I was stoked. For the first time
ever, I could walk up and down stairs without a problem post marathon. To be
honest, I could have used a dose of humility, as I was pretty proud of this. I
should have also been smart and taken time off. Instead, I ran full out on that
Tuesday. I felt great during the run and was once again a bit too proud. The
next day, my hamstring wasn’t happy.
For the remaining couple of weeks, I dealt with a nagging
hamstring. I never felt the need to take any time off to rest, but I did cut a
few runs a couple miles short. In retrospect, I should have taken extra time
right after TCM to let my body heal properly. I didn’t, so race day fell apart.
Race Day was COLD. This did not make my already angry
hamstring any happier. I also had stomach issues that kept me visiting the
porta potty. By mile ten, I was doubting my ability to run 50 miles. If you
follow me on FB, you know that I almost quit after mile 25. Despite being on
track to finish with plenty of time at the halfway point, I knew it would be
rough, and I wasn’t sure I had it in me. But I kept going. Thanks to constant crying out to God,
perfectly timed prayers and donations from family and friends, and my older
brother, I crossed that finish line. It was ugly, and I was a blubbering mess,
but I did it.
If I am honest, I was rather angry on race day and for a
couple of weeks after the fact. I trained so hard for that day, and it was
disappointing to barely finish (if all had gone according to plam, I should
have finished at least an hour sooner and with at least some energy). I was in
so much pain that I could barely move. My hamstring was shot, my quad was super
swollen, and I had blisters all over both feet. I felt stupid for even trying.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, it
wasn’t about me. Unfortunately, though, it had become about me. I was so
focused on accomplishing 50 miles that I forgot why I set that big goal in the
first place. I was so proud of being able to cross off mile after mile on my
training plan that I forgot to focus on the kiddos who needed me to advocate on
their behalf. In short, I made it about me, and that was my mistake.
I don’t necessarily believe God was punishing me on race
day, but I believe that race day happened the way it did for a reason. Being in
pain made me cry out to God in a way that has only happened one other time in
my life. Bleeding blisters made me admit that there was NO way I could do this
on my own. Barely finishing made me remember that I don’t do this for my benefit.
I do this so that others can have life. I do this as a way of honoring God. I
do this so that kiddos in Africa can feel the love of Jesus through my running
and fundraising. I choose to run so that others don’t have to.
And that my friends is the condensed (ha!) version of my
2017 journey J
I am still seeking support, so if you want to still donate, you have a few days! If we can get 23 clean water donations in the next three days, a total of 200 people will have new life this year. Let's see how many lives we can change!!!
