I miss my treadmill...

It's true. I miss it. I see that thing every day. My shoes sit on top calling me. But I can't hop on because of my stupid veins. And to make matter's worse, I can't run the Frosty Frolic---a race I have done many times (even before I actually liked running).

Since Thanksgiving, I have only run a handful of times. Maybe clocked in 2o miles. And it's killing me. My mind is all over the place. I always knew how much running did for me physically. But I never knew exactly how much it did for me mentally. This is the longest I have gone without consistently running since deciding to train for the half marathon back in April of 2010. And I miss it. I miss the me time where my mind just wanders. I miss the prayer time. I miss the day dreaming. I miss the feeling of accomplishing a fast pace. I miss my heart rate racing as I push myself to go just a few minutes longer. I miss the runner's high. I even miss the sweat.

Two weeks can't go by fast enough.

Recent Quotes

Grayson to Griffin: "You are my best friend."

Griffin to me: "Christmas is not about presents because they can't be born and they are NOT our king."

Grayson to anyone and everyone: "What's your favorite color?" or "Do you have dogs?"

Griffin to me: "Can you teach me more words with the silent E?"

Grayson to anyone and everyone: "We don't eat dog food. We don't eat bird poop. We don't eat dog poop. And we don't eat our poop."

Griffin after seeing his cousin Samuel wear pajamas: "Can I get a pair of pajamas?" This from the kid who has always worn just a t-shirt to bed and despised pajamas.

Grayson to me: "Where's daddy?" I replied "At work." To which he responded, "Not again!"

Just Run

Run Happy
Run Grumpy
Run Speedy
Run Slow
Run A Lot
Run A Little
JUST RUN!

I saw this on someone else's blog, and it made my day. I have been dying to get on the treadmill post surgery, and today was the day. I only ran a mile before my leg throbbed, but MAN it felt good to run. Seriously. My lungs and my heart are so happy right now. Well, that is until I remember that I can't run the Frosty Frolic. Heart. is. broken.

Hoping to get in a few more miles before Friday. Then it should only be another 14 days until I can run until my heart is content :)

Early Presents

My boys got to open up their Christmas presents from Grandma Laurie yesterday. To say they were in heaven would be an understatement. They played with their new gifts ALL NIGHT LONG. They barely stopped to eat dinner, and then they resumed playing until we forced them to go to bed. My friend, Rebecca, hit it on the nose when she said, "The bat cave is like a doll house for boys." SO TRUE!!!

Vein Update

Tuesday was quite possibly the worst day of my life. I do not remember a time when I was in so much pain. Even the pain before receiving an epidural for Griffin's birth wasn't as bad as this. No joke.

As usual, the surgery was more complicated than the doctor thought it would be. When I was being wheeled away, the doctor told Brandon the procedure would take an hour. It ended up taking three. Par for the course. I swear I should just live in a lab and be researched. I could at least make some money off of all my weird medical issues.

The doctor described removing the clot using these words..."It was like scraping cement off of your leg with a crochet needle." Fun images, huh? After that was all said and done, they were surprised to discover that I have a duplicate greater saphenous vein. Basically that meant that after they took out the clot, they had to ablate two veins and not just one. Hence the three hour procedure. The worst part about all of this is that you are not put all the way under. I distinctly remember looking at the clock at two different times and thinking, "I should not still be in surgery," but I didn't have the mental capacity to say anything. (Thankfully they did inform Brandon halfway through that it would be a longer time frame than expected).

I don't remember much from Tuesday except for pain. In addition to the leg pain, I got sick from anaesthesia and ended up with a migraine as well. I was admitted overnight even though I was originally supposed to be able to walk out of the hospital a few hours after surgery. In hindsight, the doctor thinks that a nerve was nicked when he was scraping away the clot. Most of my upper leg is numb to the touch and bruised, and I have a tearing sensation every time my muscle is fully tightened. The doctor is unsure how long that will last.

We are still going ahead with the second surgery the week after Christmas. I just want everything to be over and done with. I also want to have a break from school because keeping my classroom up and running last week put me over the edge in terms of stress. I ended up going back to school before I should have, but to me that was easier than letting my classroom fall apart. If you aren't a teacher, it might be hard to understand that. But those of you who teach totally understand that it is sometimes easier to work when you are sick then prepare for a substitute. Thankfully, if something goes wrong during the second surgery, I will have some time to regroup before school starts again.

I am frustrated (I am sure that's obvious), but I am also thankful that the clot is gone, and I am not in any danger of other issues. I was also reminded that we truly have amazing friends. Holly O cancelled her own plans to watch my kids on Tuesday night; Auntie Kelsey took over so the kids could be put to bed at their own house. And Holly J was my personal driver this week, so that I could stay on pain meds.

I am in pain, but I can still honestly say that Life is Good.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas 2011

St. Nick Visits---December 6th

Not quite sure he wants to be close to Santa...

Okay....I guess I'll smile

I can't believe how old Griffin looks...

Waiting for the sleigh ride in my new winter coat :)

LOVE THESE BOYS!!!

Mr. Grayson

Right now, Grayson is at SUCH a fun age. He makes us laugh each and every day with his funny faces, hilarious remarks, and constant barrage of questions. As I reflect on the day, I am constantly reminded of something he did that made me stop in my tracks and think, "Man, this is such a fun stage!"

His enthusiasm is enviable. His energy is never ending. His curiosity is entertaining. His comments are witty. I could literally nibble his ears off. And man, I melt every time I hear, "I love you mommy," or "cuddle with me." I am ENAMORED with this little man.

Sometimes I feel guilty, though. Did I miss this fun age with Griffin? When Griffin was this age, Grayson was a baby, and we were just beginning to see his acid reflux issues creep through. I worry that I didn't get to experience this age with Griffin. But then I am reminded that life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. I can't be a perfect mom. I try to soak up every moment, but sometimes frustration gets in the way. And that's okay. Because even though I can't be a perfect mom, I can find a million ways to be a good one.